from JennJr:

a little bit of me from a-z

A-age- 23
B- band- postal service
c- crush- je
d- dads name- phil
e- easiest person to talk to-je
f- favourite ice cream- orange sherbert or oatmeal cookie
g- gummy bears or worms?- worms
h- hometown- Belen, NM
i- instruments- piano&n bsp;
j- junior high- Middle School - awkward
k- kids- 0
l- longest car ride ever- here to LA i guess? about 12 hours.
m- moms name- yolanda
n- nicknames- baby (je) lis (my mom) liser loo (my dad) avie (highschool) eli, lizzie, sister ben (random people)
o- one wish- to be completely out of debt
p- phobias- flying insects, monks
q- quote from you- "kittens are like babies. they are cute when they are little but then they grow up to be humans"
r- Reason to smile- i get a four day weekend and we have a new house
s- song u sang last- #4 on the new coldplay
t- Time you woke up today- 6:35
u- unknown fact about me- i like makeup
v- vegetables you hate- lima beans, carrots
w- worst habit- I procrastinate
x- x-ray u had - knee
y- years since u been to a religious place- no years, three weeks.
z- zodiac sign- leo

My politics get in the way quite a bit for me these days. I feel strongly about certain things. Not just the "war on terrorism", which i feel is paramount right now, but about the more mundane politics like womens issues, minority issues and poverty. I believe that what i believe politically affects me mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don't seperate my belief system from my politics and I don't listen to people who want to silence my concience. I regularry annoy the Christians I know with my "liberal" world view. I am asked, even by those closest to me, to keep my beliefs and opinions to myself. It frusterates me that they would rather believe the way they always have instead of opening their mind to the bigger picture.
I don't know why i feel the need to defend myself, but here it goes. I want to try and back up my belief system with the bible. I'd say most christians villinize something just because it might be percieved as "democrat". Modern day witch hunters like Dr. James Dobson and Chuck Coleson don't really help matters. People would rather believe them than the bible.

So here is a non exhaustive list that guides my belief system:

Compassion and kindness are my religion: Ps. 145:8 — The lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.
Matthew 14: 13-21 And when he went ashore he saw a great throng; and he had compassion on them, and he healed their sick.

I am anti war: "You have heard it said, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." "But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil, but whoever slaps you on the right cheek turn to him the other also."  Matthew 5:38
"You have heard it said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy". But I say unto you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil 
and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not the tax gatherers do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" Matthew 5:43-48

I believe in helping the poor:  Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.
Mark 14:7  For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you will, you can do good to them.

Those are just a few of the things I believe in. I may continue this post in the future. Please note that even though i believe in kindness and compassion, i don't always act with kindness and compassion. Even though i believe in helping the poor, i might not always give them all the resources I could. This is true for any belief system, I think. Our ideals are always different than our actions.

Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions, but regulates them.
Saint Thomas Aquinas

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
-St. Matthew chapter five, verses three and four

Morbidly, I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Not my own, just the concept in general. I visited my grandparents this week, and when I walked in the door, my formerly athletic and energetic grandfather squinted at me in puzzlement until I said "grandpa, it's me, Lisa." His face changed completely and he reached out to hug me. We were both silent for a moment, feeling the deep sadness that his slow onset of blindness has brought us. My mom said he has been really down lately, as he sees the end of his life closer than ever before. Fittingly, we live near a cemetery which I sometimes visit on my walks or runs. Tonight I was itching to get out of the house so I put on my running shoes and headed out the door. I meant to get a quick run in before the darkness and the oncoming thunder storm set in. Halfway through the course in the cemetery, I found myself slowing down as I approached "the garden of the angels". This section of the graveyard is reserved for children who have died. Nearly every time I visit the place I find myself stooping to visit each tiny grave and mourn its occupant. This week, a 16 month old baby lost his life in our community. He drowned. His tiny grave was still fresh. Someone had placed a small stuffed bear who has already grown dirty from the mud surrounding the grave on the stone with his name on it. On another child’s grave was a Barbie doll and a bracelet. On another, a picture of a fat, dimpled infant. And then there were the graves with just one date on them. The one day that baby lived. Sometimes the hours were on there. There was one baby who lived for 3 hours before passing on. The story each of these graves tell is too tragic for words. To lose a child must be an awful burden to carry. I don't like thinking about death, but its reality faces me at every turn. I ran away from those miniature graves thankful for the 89 years my grandpa has lived.

Wonder.

Here is what happened at the Laundromat last weekend: I try to do laundry once a week but the past few weeks have been hectic so I found myself with quite a load on Saturday. I decided that a trip to the Laundromat was in order. I loaded all my baskets and got change. At the Laundromat I found there were about 20 men there, obviously hard laborers, obviously not English speaking, obviously doing their laundry. These men were crude and greasy. Besides an older woman, I was the only female in the joint. Maybe because they are foreign, or maybe because I looked extra good in my nasty house cleaning clothes, the men were pretty obvious in their stares and whistles. It really bothers me when men do this, not because I don’t like people to think I’m pretty, but simply because it feels disrespectful to be ogled like that. I got a space next to the only other woman in the building, an older, sophisticated woman who appeared to be washing bedding and other things she couldn't wash at home due to space constraints. I smiled at her and tried to convey with my eyes "we aren't like them". She ignored me, probably grouping me with the rest of the dirty masses. After a few minutes into the wash cycle, a small blonde woman came in and began loading the machine next to me. She wore tattered, soiled cut off jeans and an equally soiled bright purple sports bra that seemed to be made of spandex or some other shiny material. Her hair was thrown up in a messy ponytail and it looked like it hadn't met a brush or some shampoo in a few days/weeks. Her only accessory was a beautiful blonde baby who had grubby hands and feet and something sticky smeared on his face. This woman was loud. She talked to her baby. She talked to the machines, and soon I found she was talking to me. I don't know how the conversation started, but suddenly she was telling me how she got a refund check in the mail for $15 and so now she could do laundry. I empathized with her because I know what its like to be broke. I don't however know what its like to be so broke that I can't afford diapers for my baby, or food for my table or gas to leave my house. She told me she kicked out the babies’ father a few months after the child was born, and she felt she was much better off. She was surprisingly articulate and when I looked closely at her face I realized she was strikingly pretty. She had beautiful blue eyes and a light dusting of freckles. Her eyes sparkled and danced when she laughed, and boy when she laughed, did she laugh. A raucous, loud laugh. Her baby looked at her every time she laughed and smiled himself. I sat on the folding counter and listened to her stories. She told me how she ended up in this town, and how she ended up with that baby. I sat on the folding table and listened to her talk, being carried away by her stories. Suddenly, she thrust the baby in my hands and said she would be right back. I watched her as she walked away and then looked at the little baby in my arms. He looked back with avid interest. I watched her walk up to one of the men (I don't know if she randomly picked him, or if it was calculated and said, pointing at me, "My friend and I want a coke, and buy us one?" and then pointing at the vending machine. He nodded dumbly reached into his pocket and handed her two dollars. I watched in fascination as she purchased the drinks and pocketed the change before coming back. She handed me a coke and I asked her "do you know that guy?” "Nah" she said with a shrug. A few minutes later the man came over and in broken English asked her if she would like to have dinner with him that night. I eyed him with skepticism. His hands were dirty, and so were his clothes. His hair was greasy and even his face seemed like it hadn't been washed in a while. To my amazement, the woman said yes. They set up a time and she gave him directions to her house. After he went away she grinned broadly at me and said she hadn't had a date since before the baby. I watched her closely as she packed up her laundry and her baby. She was humming to herself and seemed even jollier than she had before. I never really thought about the laundry as a place to get a date, but I guess it could be. As i handed her baby back to her, I found myself smiling and wishing her well. So hey, laundry lady, I hope you had fun. Thanks for the memory.

A Lifetime:

10 years ago: I was almost 14. really awkward. Braces. Had a crush on a boy named BARNEY. (yes, that really was his name) 
5 years ago: in college. Its all kind of a blur now. I was 19
1 year ago: landed my first gig at a small town paper. Met my husband.
Yesterday: got off work early
Today: am witnessing the most intense office drama.
Tomorrow: hopefully closing on our new house.

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1) popcicles
2) sunflower seeds
3) saltine crackers
4) candy
5) bread n butter

I don't usually post this kind of stuff but gosh, it fits me to a tee. How'd they do that??

Your Expression Number is 9

An idealist and humanitarian, you strive to make the world a better place. You do your best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion. Deep down, you dream of being loved by many. You are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. While you are very ambitious, you never lose site of perspective. You have an abundance of creative talents... you just need to tap into them. Although you are a giving person, you can become selfish if you are ignored. If you are not able to help people, you tend to shelf your talents. Without others, you become aloof and start to lack sensitivity.

We got the new Coldplay CD the day of its U.S. release. As always, the lyrics of Chris Martin are tugging at my thoughts, even when the stereo is silent.

Most of the songs on this album are about love in some form. With all the talk on tblog land about and its meaning lately, the song What If keeps playing in my head.

The song, (lyrics below) talks about risk in love. Any relationship we embark on contains a certain element of risk. Its sometimes easy to assess that risk and determine the relationship won't work. Its sometimes not as easy to assess if it will work.

How do you say yes or no when the future is unknown? When I said yes to my husband, I said yes not knowing if we will always love each other as much as we do right now. I said yes not knowing if we would be happy. I know we are happy now, and somehow, this time, it was enough for me to jump. I said yes because never in my life have I felt like I am home, and suddenly I felt he was my home. I believe we will love each other forever, even during the hard times. I took the risk because if you never try you'll never know just what you are worth.

What if

What if there was no light
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don’t want me there by your side
That you don’t want me there in your life

What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don’t want me there by your side
That you don’t want me there in your life

Oooh, that’s right
Let’s take a breath, jump over the side
Oooh, that’s right
How can you know it if you don’t even try
Oooh, that’s right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that’s the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don’t want me there in your life
That you don’t want me there by your side

Ooh, that’s right
Let’s take a breath, jump over the side
Ooh, that’s right
How can you know it when you don’t even try
Ooh, that’s right

You know the darkness always turns into light

"Lights will guide you home....."

After much confusion as to what exactly a Meme is, I have the answers I need to construct one of my very own. Five things from my childhood I miss:

1) Saturday mornings. My dad would wake me up at the crack of dawn and take me to get doughnuts at a local bakery. The bakery had barstools along the counter and a crowd of locals would gather each morning to have their coffee. My dad went there every morning, so everyone knew him. Taking his little girl on Saturdays was fun for him because everyone was quite amused by me. That was also the only day my dad drove his vintage jeep. In the summer we would take the hardtop off and I’d cruise with my 7 year old haircut blowing in the wind. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I sure enjoyed being with my daddy.

2) Torturing my little brother. He is 7 years younger than I and when he was born I thought he was a live doll sent from God himself. When he was a baby I’d lug him around. (No small feat. The kid weighed almost nine pounds when he was born, and I was skinny.) When he got older I dressed him in girl clothes and took pictures. I retained rights on those photos and currently hold them for blackmail purposes. As a 17 year old, he doesn’t appreciate it.

3) Baking with my mom. She was dubbed “The Martha Stewart of the Bosque” because of her skills in the homemaking genre. For Christmas we would bake what seemed like thousands of cookies and decorate them individually. We would then give them to everybody we knew, from the neighbors to the guy who sold us insurance and my dads business associates. We had so much fun being together in the kitchen talking about my ambitions which changed from wanting to be a school teacher to wanting to be a politician to wanting to be a writer. My mom was instrumental in encouraging me to pursue writing. To imagine all of this started over some flour and sugar when I was 5.

4) Hanging out at my grandparents. My mom’s parents lived in our town and I spent many an afternoon with them. They are in their late 80’s now and I realize that I didn’t appreciate their activeness at the time. They have slowed down quite a bit. When I was a kid they would take my cousin Davey and I for an afternoon or day and take us to neighboring little towns “just to check it out”. I got my working knowledge of rural New Mexico from these mini trips. Sometimes we would just stay at their house and I’d make homemade tortillas with my grandma. She did the whole project from scratch once a week and man, were they good! In the spring my grandpa would invite us over to help him plant his huge annual garden. He grew tomatoes and chilies and pretty much every vegetable that is grow-able in this valley. Somehow, laboring with grandpa in the hot sun wasn’t laboring at all. We took great pride in the vegetables he would send home with us, informing the rest of our family that “me and grandpa grew these!”

5) My friends. Growing up I had two friends. Well, I had more than two, but really they were my only two consistent friends. R and A were sisters that were not quite two years apart. R and I were born 7 days apart and celebrated nearly every birthday together. Our parents were friends before we were born and I think the birth of A really motivated my parents to acquire a child of their very own. We have pictures of the three of us when we were babies, up until pictures of the three of us looking quite fetching at my wedding just a few weeks ago. Our parents are still best friends, and go out on “date night” nearly every Friday evening. We went camping together and on school field trips and everywhere else in between. We went to our first concert together and had our first alcoholic drink together. We graduated high school together and started college together (or within 2 years of each other at least!) We even got married together more or less and were in each others weddings. Of course, as with any friendship, we had our bumpy times. In the end I think I realized that finding friends who know this much about you is a good thing, even though sometimes it doesn’t seem like it.

My nominees for the next Meme batch are:

AmericanOreo (http://americanoreo.tblog.com" title="http://americanoreo.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://americanoreo.tblog.com...)

Rinna (http://rinna.tblog.com" title="http://rinna.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://rinna.tblog.com)

Cmaze http://www.webloxonline.com/blog" title="http://www.webloxonline.com/blog" target="_blank"http://www.webloxonline.com/b...

Lynne (http://Lynne.tblog.com" title="http://Lynne.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://Lynne.tblog.com)

Chicalookate (http://chicalookate.tblog.com" title="http://chicalookate.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://chicalookate.tblog.com...)

 I was originally on Lindy’s (http://lindy.tblog.com) meme list which included:

Altricial (http://altricial.tblog.com" title="http://altricial.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://altricial.tblog.com)

JennJr (http://jennjr.tblog.com" title="http://jennjr.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://jennjr.tblog.com)

Childish

Reluctant (http://reluctant.tblog.com" title="http://reluctant.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://reluctant.tblog.com)

 FinalyFree (http://finalyfree.tblog.com" title="http://finalyfree.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://finalyfree.tblog.com)

I apologize if I am duplicating other people’s lists on my nominee batch. In case you are slow like me here are the general instructions:

 A) Post “the five things from your childhood you miss”

 B) Nominate five new people to do the same.

C) Just for fun, include the list you were originally on.

little lisa

What do you think?

Or Air Force actually. I stepped out of the civilian world to become a private contractor for the Air Force on Monday. My job as a journalist for the air force base newspaper came with lots of rude awakenings to the military world. There are formal protocols and lots of blue clothes. No taking your shoes off around here, even if they hurt! I've always viewed the military with a trace of caution. My mom protested the Vietnam war and I have followed tradition and protested the war in Iraq. I don't understand basic terms like patriotism very well, so its hard for me to fathom why anyone would want to fight for their country. Blame my politics I guess. I'm finding out however, that there is a lot more to the military than soldiers in wartime. Suddenly, I've been thrust into the heart of military life. And I must admit, I see the appeal. This base is like a small city with private gyms and stores and offices and everything in between. Sure, there are still things that freak me out, like the fact that next to my office in the headquarters building is a special strategy room that is reserved for crisis’s. This room is blocked by heavy metal doors and requires special clearance to get inside. There is a large red sign deterring people from entering, and it has a side note that almost made me pee in my cute tweed skirt. The sign says "Use of deadly force will be enforced."
All the scariness aside, I am settling quite comfortably into my new job.

I just successfully broke into an apartment with the aid of a 12 year old neighbor boy. My apartment. I locked my keys inside. It is kind of disturbing how easy it was. It took less than 3 minutes. It makes me think that maybe renters insurance might not be such a bad idea. Especially in the neighborhood we live in. Hmmm.... Hope that helpful 12 year old doesnt get any ideas. It was kind of funny how easily he believed my story about locking my keys in. It wasn't a story, but the truth. But how could he know that for sure? He was sitting on his front porch watching me claw at the window with a disinterested look. When i saw him watching i called out "locked my keys in!" he didnt say anything but watched with a bit more interest as i kicked at the door. Finally he came over and asked if i needed a hand. He was sure an easygoing accomplice. I guess a 20 something girl in distress was too much to pass up. Gotta take what you get i guess. I know i appreciated the help.

So good to be home!

So, tom cruise and katie holmes eh? great! so wonderful! im glad they found true love! Did you see them on oprah??

wait, rewind.

BARF!

This couple is the newest couple i love to hate. they join the ranks with brittany and kevin and george and mrs mouse. i mean laura.

Ok so anyway. back to tom and katie. are you kidding me? since when is tom cruise all giggly and twitterpated? oh wait. since he started doing it with a 24 year old.

and katie is all smug now. did anyone see her on the mtv awards? "the lifetime achievement award goes to tom cruise! should i go get him" she asked with this weird sex bunny pose. uh yeah katie, you do that. also be a dear and get us some buckets to catch the puke.

dont get me wrong. i'm all for love. but what if love is actually just a publicity stunt? *raises eyebrow

WHAT THEN??

for more ideas on the subject visit:

http://www.snarkywood.com/2005/05/katie_holmes_ an.html" title="http://www.snarkywood.com/2005/05/katie_holmes_ an.html" target="_blank"http://www.snarkywood.com/200... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tm...;u=/ap/20050611/ap_en_mo/ cruise_holmes_scientology _8 http://www.defamer.com/hollyw...

Waiting until Tuesday for a new episode of Blow Out is too much for me. What is it about this show that chronicles the life of a hair stylist in LA that is so addicting? I am pretty sure the addictive factor is Jonathan Antin, the shows star. This guy is great. Not only is he physically attractive (and how!) but he exudes this sexy "I'm confident" attitude that is irresistible. He is most decidedly straight, which is a change from most Bravo shows, and he is on his way to making a lot of money doing hair in Beverly Hills. Hmmm. Not something I thought I’d be into. I guess I was wrong!

I am a married woman.

Thanks to all my tblog friends for the well wishes.

and thanks to LINDY (http://lindy.tblog.com" title="http://lindy.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://lindy.tblog.com) and the girls for celebrating with me!

more to come...